you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
this boner is exhausting
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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