It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
