I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
