I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
