honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
