Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
