i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
please come you make the beer taste better
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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