Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How does it feel to date your dad?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
