Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
