I hate your face
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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