This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
