Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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