I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
