You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
