I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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