like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She announced her abortion via fbk
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
