Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
