3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
