Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
