I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
