This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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