The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i've created a new STD.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
