I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
