While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
