She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
