Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
