Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
