And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
