I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
