I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
