I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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