thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
