Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
