yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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