very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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