That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
