i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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