You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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