I didn't shave. On purpose
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
