We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
