Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
