She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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