Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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