it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
