I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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