Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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