real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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