I wish I could punch you in the face.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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