He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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