your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize