you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
