WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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